The Cone of Shame

Happy Friday!! Here’s another oldie…a repost from February of 2019!! Somehow I had two previous blog posts delete (probably my fault) a while ago but had email copies of each. I finally reposted one last week and now reposting this one today! So here we go….

I feel like our dogs end up at the vet every other month. If it’s not for a routine check, we’re there because Eli’s seizures are flaring up or he’s not feeling up to par. The other day though it was my daughter’s dog, Maxx (a little three-pound Yorkie who self-identifies as a pit bull). To keep this post rated ‘E for EVERYONE’ I won’t go into a detailed description of his medical issue, but I will tell you his back half was suffering irritably so without delay I loaded him up and took him in. Turns out he’ll be fine; doc fixed him up and sent him home with two different types of meds….and since he’s a chewer and a licker he also got a free prize!!!….a plastic necklace AKA The Cone of Shame….

The poor little guy looks pathetic trying to tote along this protruding piece of plastic (that’s half his size). When he walks, there’s a swanky waddle as his head bobs from side to side, almost resembling a swagger-type strut; but his face and eyes droop, revealing a true depressive temperament. (I wish I could attach a video to give you a good laugh but apparently I’d have to upgrade my WordPress account so just imagine Ace Ventura’s awkward stride and you’ll have a good idea!) And to top it off it’s been snowing a lot here, so when Maxx goes out for potty breaks you can imagine the “snow-cone” humor from my kids.

I feel bad for him, but in a canny sense I’m reminded of the many times I’ve mentally and emotionally worn my own cone of shame for a lengthy period of time…when I’ve caught myself nagging at my husband over petty things, harping on my kids when really I’m the one in need of an attitude check, or when I allow shameful lies that “I’ll just never get things right” to fester…the list goes on as Satan quickly steps in and says, “here my pet, you’ve messed up again, let me firmly place this cone of shame around your neck—keep your head down, don’t look around, just focus on your pity and the extra weight you carry, and most importantly medicate yourself with an extra dose of embarrassment and shameful thoughts and feelings. Now stay put!! And remember your key diagnosis is shame.”

…Here’s the beautiful thing though, “cones of shame” whether on a dog or on us (in a mental denotation of course) aren’t meant to be permanent!!

It’s in these moments of shame (which is always from satan) that we must look at our state of condition with a new perspective. Even if our cone seems too snug, hopeless with a circumference the size of a pin needle, Jesus is right there and He can still work us through our situation and mental health when we seek Him out. We can then see purpose beyond the shameful cone.

The truth and positive outlook regarding a cone of shame is this:

• It’s a direct effect of the cause (in other words you can typically identify what caused the shame once you feel it, which means no guessing games, making it quicker to tackle and fix the problem)
• Perhaps the most obvious, a cone of shame will force you to look forward (you have no other choice honestly)
• It’s temporary (there is light at the end of the tunnel…or cone)
• It’s purpose is to work towards strength and healing (even if it has to be a slow process)
• Guilt is when you’re still caught up in the sin, shame usually follows afterwards and comes from satan as he causes us to wallow in pity….we can be thankful we’re past the action that originally made us guilty

We aren’t meant to remain in a cone of shame, our dog or ourselves! Shame just simply, but skillfully, can serve a temporary purpose—to pinpoint or recognize the mess created, correct it, and get healed by Jesus. And the quicker we allow Jesus to heal that shame the quicker we’re released from its grip. Such a beautiful reality…

Unfortunately some never look past the rim of the cone of shame, some feel stuck.

I’ve been there. Too many times to count.

But as I draw closer to my Master, I know and trust when the shame longs to define me, the One who graciously releases the cone of shame’s tension is right in view ready to free me of the burden.

Maybe you’re currently struggling over shame…but check out this promise of hope—if you’re reading this post, you’re looking beyond the cone of shame right now in this very moment and here is what God’s word says regarding your pain…

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 103:8-12 The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Now remove that cone of shame and take a long refreshing drink from the One who offers an endless supply of living water and eternal life.

(Read John 4:1-42 The Woman at the Well for further studying)

Lessons From Slap-Happy Lemurs

I’m reposting from a post I wrote in March of 2019, some how it was deleted from WordPress (probably operator error) but I was able to retrieve it from my email archives, so here it is and next week I’ll repost another post which was also deleted.

While sitting around the dining room table the other night, my kids reminded me of a funny memory… “Mom, remember those crazy lemurs we saw at the zoo in Kansas?”

“Oh great grief, yes!!” I replied with a smile and immediately my thoughts blissfully trailed to reminiscing…

My three kids and I had traveled to Kansas several years ago to spend time with one of my best friends and her family for a few days. While we were visiting we all loaded up and headed to a fabulous petting zoo in Wichita.

We fed large stalks of celery to mama giraffes and their babies, hung out in exotic outdoor bird cages, observed rhinos with rambunctious attitudes, and knelt down beside cuddly kangaroos to stroke their tummies and backs.

When we finally arrived at the gate of the lemur exhibit we listened with anticipation as the zoo keeper dished-out strict instructions before she allowed us to enter. Visitors were warned to not pet the lemurs while in their living quarters or they would see this as a competitive game; instead we were to sit in a designated area with our hands placed on our legs. The lemurs would take interest and eventually climb onto our laps but whatever their behavior, we must NOT pet them! If we raised our hands to touch them, they’d view it as an invitation for play-time…aggressive play-time…which involves, but isn’t limited to, slapping the human species on the face…

The kids smiled and giggled as these fluffy animals, with monkey-like characteristics, bounced around them like Richard Simmons. In my opinion, it was the most entertaining part of the zoo for all of us!

The thought of getting slapped on the cheek by a lemur may sound funny. Out of reaction, I’d want to defend myself from the savage rascals, probably even fight back.

…Here’s the object lesson, which I need as much as anyone else: Most of us probably aren’t hanging out in a cage with frisky lemurs on a daily basis, nevertheless we’re still at risk of a slap to the cheek by someone’s harsh words, negative attitude, or ignorant behavior; and when feelings get hurt and emotions flair, then we begin to behave on impulse much-like a bunch of slap-happy lemurs, right?…fighting our way to claim the victory of what was most likely a petty disagreement to begin with anyway.

When we turn the pages of scripture to Luke 6:29 we see what Jesus has to say about a slap on the cheek, “If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also.” There’s no real deep theology to Jesus’ words here. His expectations are pretty cut and dry. Jesus simply wants us to avoid revenge. When someone wrongs us, we often want to fight back—fist raised, teeth showing, Mike Tyson style…But Jesus says no, don’t go into defense mode, instead turn the other cheek.

He surely wasn’t offering us this advice just in dealing with the lemur family— however the concept is very similar to my visit at the zoo. The zoo keeper had forwarned us to remain calm toward any aggression from the cute, but deceitful, furry animals. I feel like Jesus’ message resembles the same instruction in dealing with one another’s differences.

Jesus goes on to say, “If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who ask; and when things are taken from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.” (Verses 29b-36)

I don’t know where you fit into those verses, but I look at that and realize I could definitely use a lot of work in the areas of living graciously and compassionately, with or without lemurs provoking me!!

These verses require generous action—driven by love-motivated faith.

Serving and loving others starts with prayer and seeking opportunities to step out in generosity, and then more prayer. It becomes a mission of awareness and sacrifice…a desirable pattern, with prayer as the fuel, and there shouldn’t be an end.

Steps for loving and serving others:

1. Pray for patience and guidance
2. Seek opportunities/places to love and serve others
3. More prayer as you follow God’s will
4. Take action: step-out in generosity and faith
5. Praise and more prayer for new ideas
6. Repeat…

If it stops, it’s because we’ve lost our focus and converted from Jesus-focused to self-focused. But we don’t have to remain, we just jump back in, beginning with prayer and cycling through until it becomes healthy second-nature to love and serve others, never taking the idea for granted.

And when we feel like we’re lacking self-control (in dealing with difficult people) we can always mentally hang out in the lemur habitat—quietly, hands on laps—while the ornery critters climb all around and on us like a jungle gym, meanwhile our patience will have a chance to grow and endure…our humble approach is where love gracefully and abundantly leaps it’s way into hearts.

Thank God for Easter Morning

Not too long ago, while I was substitute teaching, a student in my class had some very exciting news that felt needed sharing.

Enthusiasm built upon every word as it spilled out…

“Mrs. Witt, my mom has a new boyfriend…and…he moved in with us!!!!”

“Ohhhh…okay.” I responded, not surprised because this unfortunately seems the norm and kids share these situations seemingly oblivious to poor conditions.

Without a warning or chance to change the subject, more words quickly gushed from the tiny, thrilled voice…

“He has his own room, and sometimes…my sister and I sleep in bed with him!!!!!” A wide grin remained on the proud face, in exchange for a gut punch for myself.

My mind felt empty, and my heart heavy. Feeling nearly speechless I managed to studder over a few words to collect the whole class’s attention, “ummm…okay…okay let’s get to working on our assignment.”

For the record, I reported my unsettling conversation to the normal teacher.

I’ve thought of the brokenness in the days since.

And I’ve thought of my own brokenness. The way I get impatient with my kids or even my husband at times. The way I sometimes run to coffee or a shopping spree before offering my stress to the One who frees me of my burden.

My own personal story of mistakes makes me no better than the sins of another.

This world consists of much brokenness. Of much sin. Of poor morals. Of sad choices.

But this is exactly why Jesus came to earth.

This is why I need Jesus, and why the world needs Jesus, no matter the size of sin. He gave witness and testimony to the Good News. He was and is the Good News.

Jesus died for the sins taking place in this innocent student’s life, just like he died for my sins. And for yours. All out of love for the world. (John 3:16)

Credit: Amelile Nei — Pinterest

It is with acknowledging our mess (and feeling necessary conviction by the Holy Spirit’s power) that change, for the betterment of ourselves, is available and ushered forth, with Jesus’ leading.

Our sin becomes less and our gratefulness more, as we continually choose to lean into our Savior. Might the heartfelt echo of our soul, each day, give much praise—in unity we shall declare:

Thank God for forgiveness of sins.

Thank God for love and goodness.

Thank God for mercy and grace.

Thank God for the cross.

Thank God for the resurrection of Jesus.

Thank God for Easter morning.

Sweet blessings, friends. He is indeed risen!!

What Would I Tell the Man at Walmart Now?

Years ago, when I was still in college away from home, I had a part-time job at Wal-Mart as a cashier. The store had its small town, local shoppers and then, because it was located alongside a busy interstate, there were always a fair share of passers by. So some faces became easily recognized after time, while others would end up being someone I’d see (just once) as they popped in to stretch their legs and pick something or another up before hitting the long spread of barren road once again.

One day, a dark haired man, maybe middle aged, approached my checkout line and memory escapes me now but I don’t even know if he was making a purchase. What I do clearly recall though was what he asked, seemingly in a mocking manner, “You been to church lately?” Admittedly it caught me a bit dumbfounded, and without waiting for my response, he slyly followed up with, “Church, what’s that?”

And then just like that he was gone.

At that season in my life I was living pretty carefree and oblivious, so although the comment threw me for a loop in the moment, it wasn’t something I dwelled on. And I most certainly wasn’t making church attendance a priority. Instead his words made no difference for the betterment of my faith, although I didn’t know that I’d subconsciously tucked them away in my heart.

A few years sped by after that (as life has its way of doing) and in the meantime I had moved the two hours back to my hometown.

I was taking more classes at our community college but also cashiering at the Walmart in our town as well.

While working my shift one day some old, familiar words rang out from a voice across the checkout counter, “You been to church lately?” And again, without delay, a snarky follow-up, “Remember me?” with a snicker in his tone.

Indeed I did.

But before I could collect my thoughts and a confident answer, just like that he was gone…once more.

Now not much had changed in-between the years of my two brief encounters with my somewhat estranged visitor. I was still self-centered and although I called myself a Christian from a young age, my life didn’t at all reflect a Christ-following example.

And so again, our second meet-up made no difference, other than, unbeknownst to me, I tucked (this too) away into a piece of my heart.

Life moved forward, and I hit my later twenties, along with a brick wall and it was then that my avoidance of a genuine faith in God could no longer be pushed away. He intervened in my self-absorption and I came to realize a deep dependence on Jesus was and is the only way to live a fruitful, meaningful life with surrendered-purpose dedicated to Him.

That was over a decade ago…and roughly two decades ago since my little occurrences with “Mr. I Have an Awkward Way of Trying to Share Jesus, Anonymous Walmart Dude.”

I couldn’t tell you the number of times I’ve thought back to those encounters. Who was that guy, what was that about and why? And If I had the opportunity to be asked just one more time, “You been to church?” —what would I tell this fella now?

I hope that I wouldn’t be speechless, but rather joy-filled and long-winded…able to tell of the wonderful ways Jesus has worked in my life. Of His saving grace and unbounded mercy when I did nothing to deserve that kind of favor, but out of an infinite love He chose to rescue me from sin’s firm grip regardless. I’d tell him of God’s generous, faithful provision over my teeny tiny life because I matter that much to Him!

“…And sir,” I would say, “you bet I’ve been to church, but respectfully that’s not what actually matters most, because after all church is simply just a building, what’s much better than church is the Lord Himself who has gifted us PEOPLE to make up the church. And although you had a funny way of bringing up faith, and perhaps well-meaning intentions, I guess you did get my attention because I still remember your exact words from all those years ago. Most importantly, God intervened in my life, and drew me to Him, in His perfect timing, by His glorious desire. I am forgiven and I have been changed and transformed. I am the Lord’s beloved child, and I am a daughter of the King of kings.”

“Oh and one more thing, Sir—may I now have a turn at asking you a few questions?”

“…Have you been to church lately? Not to fulfill a religious quota, but to commune with fellow believers and to worship the One who loves richly? Do you know Jesus…truly know Him, the way I’ve had the opportunity to come to know Him? Do you know that He loves you unconditionally? And Sir, do you understand how important it is, not just to drip Jesus over strangers, but rather to pour Him out with the chance that one would come to know and love this Living Water that satisfies and quenches the soul like no other?”

“I’m just curious, Sir. I just don’t want you to have missed the real deal, substituting surface level for heart altering? Because, Sir, it’s truly not about church attendance…Do you know Him and love Him, first and foremost, above everything else, the way I do, Sir?…”

It’s Time for Quotes by the One and Only, Brother Jeff…

I’ve written before about my younger brother, Jeffrey, who happens to have short-term memory loss, along with a few other little quirks. He is one-of-a-kind and keeps me and our entire crew in suspense of what he might say next…hilarious, obnoxious, or embarrassing.

Every once in a while I like to share Jeff’s most recent comments, an idea I picked up from Patty, at He Said What blog, who also shares humorous stories and quotes from her special needs son.

Bible YouVersion app

So without further ado here are some most-memorable as of late… (Jeff’s words bolded)

Upon me trying to get Jeff to laugh, which I can almost always do… “Alicia, what is your attitude fit problem with me?”

Or his other version goes like this, all while laughing almost uncontrollably: “Alicia, what is your attitude fitness with me?”

And sometimes when I call him “Kid” (because after all he’s my little kid-brother) I get this as a response: “Alicia, I’m not a kid, I’m a man of an adult cause I have a beard!”

When he’s cracking up and I ask, “you good bro?” … “I’m having a laugh attitude fit!”…simultaneously, hardly being able to catch his breath in-between roaring chuckles.

Jeffrey loves to read books (usually encyclopedia types or almost anything nonfiction) and last month I was giving him and my mom a hard time telling him he should read his books out loud…to our mom… “No, Alicia, I like reading inside my throat…I like reading inside my mouth.”

When I mentioned it again, a different time, he replied, “I like reading inside me, inside my voice.”

Recently, he must’ve been worried about talking too much, so he told me this story… “I made a reminder note that I used to be called, Motormouth, and I don’t want to be called that and talking so much, so I’m gonna start being quiet.” …Immediately, after telling me this, he belts out into a loud, little sing-song, “What a Beautiful Morning.” …a Jeff original of course…Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure singing still counts as talking, right?

When our grandma was sick, in the hospital, Jeffrey needed to use the restroom, I patiently waited outside the door for him. The toilet boisterously flushes, and Jeffrey starts absolutely obnoxiously laughing and then talking to himself through endless laughter he manages to spout out regarding the toilet’s flush, “WOW!! That is a loud one, I’ve never heard one that loud before. That is loud!!!” …his laughter thundered on long after the toilet’s flushing blast came to rest. I feel sorry for anyone else who might have been in there if this was a multi-person bathroom…

A few weeks after the New Year holiday, our family spent a lot of time at the nursing home with my grandma being on hospice. Jeff sat in the waiting area in the hallway off and on, and the rest of us (in my grandma’s room) could hear every word he spoke to the nursing staff. He kept chipperly telling everyone, “Happy New Year” as they walked passed him in the hallway and many of them got to hear the greeting multiple times. (Thank you short term memory loss.) We laughed as we’d hear the same person’s voice politely reply back for the umpteenth time with another, “Happy New Year.” And then the next nurse would come along, and same thing. On and on.

Jeffrey—when he noticed my grandma’s oxygen machine: “Hey what is that air conditioner on her?”

My sweet grandma, literally on her deathbed and here’s Jeffrey: “Hey grandma I have a bank account, pretty cool right?!”

Me thinking…umm I’m banking on the fact that she doesn’t give a dime about it at this point.

When I reminded him to, “please keep your hands to yourself.” He shot back with, “Okay, I don’t want to be spreading the coronavirus, you bonehead.”

And then later, to the nurse: “I got you, babe.”🤦🏼‍♀️

While reading one of his books, he came to a spot that showed, 2-4, and he asked us, “Hey, do I say a slash when I read that?”

“Alicia, call me Chatterbox…it’s better than Motormouth.”

When wanting to show his youngest niece (a year old) one of his hundred-plus puzzles he’s pieced together he pipes up: “It’ll take a few ages for Kinsley to have fun seeing the puzzles I made.”

That’s it for now, hope some or all of these brought a smile or a “laugh attitude fit” to your day!! Until next time…sweet blessings!!

Nostalgic Blessings

You Version Bible app

Recently my husband and I sat on the couch recounting pleasant memories of our childhood; things that have held a fond, sweet spot in our hearts. We both agreed that certain smells take us back to the days when our lives reflected the innocence of youthfulness.

For my husband he recalled earthy, woodsy scents which are reminiscent of the Skoal Long Cut Wintergreen that his grandfather used to chew.

And for myself, every once in a blue moon, I’ll pause any and everything I’m doing if I come across the smell that replicates my years of visiting my grandparents home in Costa Mesa, CA. That just does it for me. There was a fresh and calming fragrance in the air that came along with those years, and I nearly stop the world every time I catch that mimicked scent.

While getting a little nostalgic and reflecting on sentimental things of the past, I have to keep in check that I’m not yearning too hard for the old stuff…not giving it more value than my current state…physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

But rather I have to remain mindful in thanking God for those good, sweet memories and then equally living with a heart of gratefulness for this present time. After all, life (along with time) always moves forward according to God’s control and His plans.

Ecclesiastes 7:10 says,

“Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.”

Each one of us is blessed with a memory…God has given purpose in allowing us to healthily recall times of old, BUT to enjoy the here and now gives us the opportunity to live in the moment as a witness of His goodness while sharing in that with others. Enjoying these current moments creates nostalgia for the future, all with the encouragement that our lives, secured through Him, have the best yet to come as we move closer toward Heaven.

Honey in the Rock

Honey in the Rock video

This “Honey in the Rock” song caught my attention after singing it a few Sunday mornings ago during worship. I knew those words are referenced in the Bible but couldn’t recall the exact whereabouts. I’m familiar with the water and rock scriptures…Exodus 17:6 where Moses struck the rock with a staff and water came out, and again in Numbers 20:11-12 with Moses’ disobedient mishap of tapping on (rather than speaking to) the rock, and water gushing from it. But the study-nerd part of my brain wanted to know more about honey…and a rock. So I researched and what happened was it grabbed my heart…

‘He made him ride on the heights of the land and fed him with the fruit of the fields. He nourished him with honey from the rock, and with oil from the flinty crag,’ -Deuteronomy 32:13

‘But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.’ -Psalm 81:16

Both of those verses refer to God’s provision over Israel, despite their rebellious mindset which they had created on their own doing, out of selfishness…a sweet and bitter (honey and rock) kind of relationship, so to speak.

Symbolically, this idea ties right in with the Israelite’s exodus out of Egypt and the manna God fed them. The rock, in the eyes of the Israelites, would have been in the form of their exodus, but the manna God was providing was their “honey” and yet think of the way they complained so exceedingly while God gave so graciously…not too much, not too little…sufficient food, perfectly planned and portioned out (according to God’s will) to provide the Israelites a sustainable diet. There they experienced their own honey in the rock if they chose to see it that way, rather than grumbling.

Bible YouVersion app

Such a good reminder, to look for own portion of “honey” in the hard, rocky spots of what might be discipline, difficulties, or trials…finding the good in the most unlikely…the honey is always there. It’s similar to the blessing of a spectacular, but distant, sunset tucked down low in the midst of a heavy and boisterous, evening thunderstorm.

Honey is always God’s perfect provision, no matter what appears as a boulder before us, we just have to obediently look for it through His plans. He offers honey based upon what he knows our needs are. It’s more about focusing on His faithfulness and guidance than anything else.

Authentic honey is of natural purity and sweetness, it has a long shelf-life which should nudge us to humbly react on God’s patient timing, not our own. With its thick consistency, it’s not likely to grow bacteria, even when it’s sat a while on the shelf and has formed a crystallization, a person can simply warm the honey up to bring it to liquid-state again, just the way God warms our heart whenever we confess those hard, rocky spots and He allows a retry again and again.

Let’s look for our own honey in the rock—may we be eager to taste and see His goodness as we have our fill, perfectly rationed by Him with an overflowing of love. It’s there when we set our gaze on God, content with all He has in store for us, that we experience His rich sweetness and all the blessings He has within.

Honey in the Rock Lyrics

There’s honey in the rock, water in the stone
Manna on the ground, no matter where I go
I don’t need to worry now that I know
Everything I need You’ve got
There’s honey in the rock

Praying for a miracle
Thirsty for the living well
Only You can satisfy
Sweetness at the mercy seat
Now I’ve tasted, it’s not hard to see
Only You can satisfy

There’s honey in the rock
There’s honey in the rock
There’s honey in the rock
There’s honey in the rock
Yeah

Freedom whеre the Spirit is
Bounty in the wildеrness
You will always satisfy, yeah

There’s honey in the rock, water in the stone
Manna on the ground, no matter where I go
I don’t need to worry now that I know
Everything I need You’ve got

There’s honey in the rock, purpose in Your plan
Power in the blood, healing in Your hands
Started flowing when You said it is done
Everything You did’s enough

I keep looking, I keep finding
You keep giving, keep providing
I have all that I need
You are all that I need
I keep praying, You keep moving
I keep praising, You keep proving
I have all that I need
You are all that I need

I keep looking, I keep finding
You keep giving, keep providing
I have all that I need
You are all that I need
I keep praying, You keep moving
I keep praising, You keep proving
I have all that I need
You are all that I need
I have all that I need
You are all that I need, yeah

There’s honey in the rock, water in the stone
Manna on the ground, no matter where I go
I don’t need to worry now that I know (I know)
Everything I need You’ve got

There’s honey in the rock, purpose in Your plan
Power in the blood, healing in Your hands
Started flowing when You said it is done (Jesus)
Jesus, who You are is enough

There’s honey in the rock, ooh
(There’s honey in the rock, ooh)
There’s honey in the rock, ooh
(There’s honey in the rock)

Oh, how sweet, how sweet it is
To trust in You Jesus
Oh, how sweet, how sweet it is
To trust in You Jesus
Oh, how sweet, how sweet it is
To trust in You Jesus

Goats Galore

Well our little kid goats graduated from the garage to the great outdoors last week and they all seem quite pleased with their new living quarters. Just for the record, these babies bring us to nine goats total!!😳

Before they got moved there was a funny situation that happened…I had been out of the house for about three solid days with my grandma and her last days, meanwhile my family was holding down the fort at our house. One of those days I showed up at home to a very large, strong rubbery smelling tire and rim which had parked itself right in my living room. “What on earth is there a tire in my living room for, that’s an outdoor item?!” I both asked and declared …to which my husband sharply and simply responded, “why are there goats in my garage?”

“Oh yes fair enough” I replied sheepishly…(admittedly I wish “goatishly” was a thing because it’d make this sentence a whole lot better!!) Needless to say the goats are now outside, along with that tire that my husband had recently ordered and found the living room most appropriate to store it until he could put it to use!!

Anyway I’ll share some photos (and hopefully some videos if they load) and let those do the talking!

Psalm 34:4–5, 8 I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

Remembering Grandma

Judy A.W. (November 7, 1941 – January 22, 2024)

Sunflowers, Proverbs 3:5-6, chicken decor, a house set at 80 plus degrees Fahrenheit, Mac’s Drive-In hamburgers, and the strong smell of freshly brewed Columbian coffee from Knowlen and Yates, “strong enough to put hair on your chest” she’d always say…those were some of my grandma’s favorites. The beautiful thing about getting to know someone we love is that when those things they enjoyed so much show up within our view they serve as sweet God-wink reminders of our loved ones.

I feel graciously blessed that when I consider the roots of my faith, where it all began, I’m directed to my Grandma Judy’s own faith. Her love for Jesus, and commitment to attending church faithfully each Sunday, sparked a flame within my mom, dad, brothers and my heart.. and over the years (for myself) that flame gradually grew. It wasn’t until my late 20s that it finally ignited with a genuine zeal, surely my grandma prayed that day would come.

The most precious of our times, more recently, had been of me reading scripture and praying with my grandma and the peace that flooded over her, I can’t even begin to describe.

Last Saturday, what a bittersweet joy we experienced as a family with my grandma at the nursing home as we spent the full day with her. She knew her journey this side of Heaven was nearing an end, and she humbly and bravely called each of us to her bedside, profoundly declaring love and thankfulness over each of us being there beside her to spend those last moments together.

Throughout the day there was a mixture of laughter and tears, though my grandma was fading I know she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Her most treasured hymns played softly in the background. She even gently sang along to a few of the lyrics with me.

In her younger years, my grandma always enjoyed getting all gussied up so we painted her fingernails her favorite light shade of purple. She was encouraged and reminded of the wonderful role she’d served as grandma in our lives. We shared with her ways that she’d touched our heart in life changing ways, she no doubt felt love bigger than any pain she was experiencing.

Saturday was such a bittersweet chapter in my grandma’s story and we will continually reflect upon it as we mourn the loss of our beloved gal.

Sunday came and with it Grandma Judy had settled into a comfortable and peaceful state. Her eyes remained closed and her voice had been replaced with soft breaths rising and falling. We continually encouraged her up until her final moment at 1:20 early last Monday morning.

True to my grandma’s humble spirit, very quietly and gently she transitioned from an earthly life to an eternal Heavenly one. It still feels a bit surreal to me.

As I look back, I’m reminded that those final days with my grandma honestly felt like my family, with our grandma, were the only ones in the nursing home. It felt like nothing else was occurring outside of our little love-filled room. Sure a few nurses would step in and out and all of them were so kind, respectful, and caring but as far as anything outside those walls, I just feel like life was on pause out there.

I’ve been curious about this and I’ve asked, “Lord, what was up with that?” And the repetitive answer in the solace of my heart I’m getting is this, “that’s what enjoying and living in the moment feels like, Alicia.”

My mind wasn’t distracted by a thousand wonders. My hands weren’t busy with multi-tasking. It was just me simply being in the very presence of God’s flawless alignment, focused on the blessing of family memories He had at hand.

And it felt good.

I’m at peace, and am grateful, knowing that I was fully in the place God wanted me. How often I run at “Alicia-pace” forgetting to slow down and allow our Father to have His way and His timing. Even in her final moments, my grandma was tugging my heart for the betterment of myself, teaching and pointing me to Jesus’ perfect will…what a wonderful testimony she’s imprinted over my own faith, such a legacy of Christian leadership she’s leaving behind…

Bible YouVersion app

New Life…From Kid Goats to Grandma Nearing Heaven

Hello sweet friends…

Well I thought today’s post would be created from the comfort of my home and with a different title, but, as I write, I sit next to the bedside of one of the most influential women I’ve ever known.

My dear grandma has been hospitalized (and now on hospice). Seeing her in pain is so tough, right now she’s resting so writing helps make for good therapy in the midst of mourning…

She’s the one that introduced me to Jesus years ago when I was a little girl. Although I didn’t grab faith with a deep commitment at that time, I eventually did in my late twenties, over a decade ago, and surely my grandma prayed for that day to come.

Now it’s my turn to pour into her. The most precious of our times, more recently, has been of me reading scripture and praying with my grandma and oh the peace that floods over her, I can’t even begin to describe. Earlier today, as I opened my Bible to read to her Psalm 23, I turned right to the very page. Over 2,000 pages in my heavily worn Bible and to open to the very page…God is so good. He shows faithful in our best, and weakest moments…and everything in-between.

I also reminded my grandma of her favorite verses from Proverbs 3:5-6, to which she quoted along with me once I got to the line, “lean not on your own understanding.”

The Simple Stencil (clip art)

My children came up to the hospital this afternoon to say their I love yous and really their good byes as well. Soft laughter filled the room as my grandma teased a bit with her great grandchildren…asking them about boyfriends and girlfriends, but it was the question to my son that turned the volume up a bit with roaring chuckles. She’d asked the kids about their animals on our little farm and I believe she expected Warren to tell her he had a dog or something else pretty cool, but when he responded with “a chicken” her eyes grew wide and almost mockingly she slyly responded, “A chicken??! Ohh call in the president, Warren’s got a chicken.”

Humor of all sorts has always been a close companion of hers.

Beautiful the way God brings things full circle. I currently have Spotify playing old hymns while I write, and though I sat next to my grandma in the church pews as a young girl with my great ignorance, all of these songs ring a familiarity…muscle memory from all those years ago. A nourishing note to my soul. I guess ignorance doesn’t always turn up with ill results, not while God is in control of the ultimate, big picture.

Our song playlist: He Lives, Our God is an Awesome God, Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art

Nothing brings me more comfort during this time than to know and understand that very soon my grandma will slip away from this earthly life and into a new one..a new life, a Heavenly home, free of aches and pain, free of trouble straight into the arms of Jesus. May I gently and admittedly whisper that jealousy may have a bit of my attention? Can you imagine the glory of that moment? There’s nothing more comforting than knowing Jesus. If she didn’t know Him as her Lord and Savior she’d simply pass away and continue on (while in hell) down this painful experience…praise to Him that abundant, new life in Heaven is right around the corner of my grandma’s journey. What a cherished legacy she’ll be leaving behind to me and other loved ones. So bittersweet.

Speaking of new life, I’ll quickly share that those baby kid goats were born late Tuesday evening. Right in our garage. One mama right after the other. Crazy. It was stressfully wild and blissfully wonderful all at the same time. All were alive and well, mamas and babies. God was with us in the moment of the chaos and in their health since, these kids speak of His unique creative side. What a joy we’ve felt already through them. But I do believe this might be a one and done…at least until my girls pursue their goals of becoming vet techs. Professional experience would be of benefit in any future deliveries!!!

I’ll let these priceless pics speak for the remainder of my post…more pics and videos to follow in an upcoming post!

Sweet blessings to you all.

Brooke with her triplets- 2 females 1 male

Vee with her twins- 2 males